New Recruits
by Sarahj90
Summary: weird random things happen in the castle that make no sense
1. the nightmare begins

Author's note: I don't own FFTA or any of the characters in it and blah blah blah any way hope you like it.  
  
Rasa: Guys I have too much time on my hands.  
  
Sheri: What's new about that? You're always so lazy.  
  
Rasa: We should join a clan.  
  
Ruko: 'We'? 'We'?! No you join a clan. You're abusing the power to use pronouns!  
  
Rasa: When's the last time I've actually listened in class.  
  
Ruko: .never.  
  
Rasa: Exactly! *puts up clan request* *Rasa and co. leave pub*  
  
*Clan Nutsy comes in*  
  
Marche: Montblanc is it just me or do we have nothing to do?  
  
Montblanc: um we have nothing to do  
  
Marche: NOOOO!!!  
  
*outside the pub*  
  
Rasa: YOU WHAT?!  
  
Ruko: I lost your charm?  
  
Sheri: I told you not to lose it and you did.  
  
Rasa:*strangling Ruko in the pub* YOU IDIOT!  
  
Ruko: *choking* I'm. sorry.  
  
Sheri:*talking to Marche while screaming can be heard* Uh do you have a clan?  
  
Marche: Yeah why?  
  
Sheri: Because the blue haired kid strangling that guy over there wanted to join one.  
  
Marche: Ok you guys can join.*thinking*why do I have the feeling I just made a big mistake.  
  
Sheri: HEY Rasa I found your charm! It's over here!  
  
Rasa: Thanks Sheri. That's the last time I ever let anyone but myself touch it.  
  
Sheri: is Ruko ok  
  
Rasa: he's fine  
  
Ruko: I'M NOT OK!!  
  
Sheri: I got us a clan  
  
Rasa: woo hoo! Now we can start fighting  
  
Sheri: Marche I think you better go over the rules with her.  
  
Marche: ok before we send you into battle you must understand this, don't break the law.  
  
Rasa: gotcha  
  
Ruko: help. please I'm in pain.  
  
Marche: and you need a job too.  
  
Rasa: I have to work?! NOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Marche: no not THAT kind of job an ability job.  
  
Rasa: oh do I get to summon big things that reek havoc on my enemies?  
  
Marche: *thinking*I don't remember having to do this for other clan members.*now speaking* (author's note: for all of you nit picky people out there.)Yeah if you're a summoner.  
  
Rasa: Great now we can start fighting*turns to Ruko and Sheri* you two can just do something.  
  
*on the battlefield*  
  
Judge: the laws for today are no summons, color magic or items  
  
Rasa: DAMN YOU!!!!  
  
Marche: stop that!  
  
Rasa: YAY! I get to go first! I know what I'll do!  
  
Marche:*thinking*why do I have the feeling she's going to summon?  
  
Rasa: *summons sign that says "summon"*  
  
Other clan:*resisting the urge to laugh heads off*  
  
Judge: infraction of summoning law ah who cares this is just too funny! *falls off chocobo and starts laughing*  
  
Rasa: is that good?  
  
Marche: *has hand over face*  
  
Montblanc: I didn't know that they could summon that, kupo.  
  
Marche: the thing is. they can't.  
  
*at the pub*  
  
Marche: um Rasa, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?  
  
Rasa: a 'summon' why?  
  
Marche: *starts whacking head on wall*  
  
*Ritz comes in*  
  
Ritz: *sees Marche whacking his head on the wall* um Marche what are you doing  
  
Marche: what does it look like I'm doing?  
  
Ritz: whacking your head on the wall.  
  
Marche: well then that's what I'm doing*continues whacking head on the wall*  
  
Ritz: * turns to Montblanc* why is he whacking his head on the wall?  
  
Rasa: I made a little mistake in battle.  
  
Montblanc: more like a huge one  
  
Rasa: *makes face at Montblanc* anyway I made a little mistake summoning.  
  
Montblanc: that made even the judge fall off of his chocobo and start laughing, kupo  
  
Rasa: *hits Montblanc over the head*  
  
*Sheri and Ruko come in*  
  
Sheri: Hey, Rasa! I heard about your mistake  
  
Rasa: yeah I guess  
  
Montblanc: ow, kupo. I want to know. Why is your hair blue?  
  
Rasa: gee ask everyone with strange looking hair will you! let's just say a nuclear power plant isn't the best place to get electrocuted.  
  
Ritz: That's just stupid.  
  
Ruko: Yeah I figured that out long ago  
  
Rasa: stop being mean!  
  
Ruko: oh yeah and you choking me is nice. Oh yeah really nice*rolls eyes*  
  
Rasa:*snickers*  
  
*Shara comes in*  
  
Shara: Hi Ritz I heard some noises *sees Marche* oh wait nevermind and why's Marche hitting his head on the wall?  
  
Marche: *stops hitting head and points to Rasa* see the kid with the blue hair!? That's why!  
  
Rasa: ok ok I'm sorry you happy?  
  
Marche:*mumbles something*  
  
Rasa: ok Marche's officially pissed at me.*turns to Ritz and Shara* SO... who are you two  
  
Sheri: She's Rasa  
  
Ruko: the moron who made the stupidest and most literal summon spell this world has ever seen.  
  
Rasa:*hits Ruko on the head* hmph loser.  
  
Ritz + Shara: *roll eyes*  
  
Rasa: ok so I suck at summoning. *looks at Shara's bow* ooh an arching bow!  
  
Ruko: oh what a joke like you can use it. You'd kill us all!  
  
Rasa: *somehow has Shara's bow in her hand* ok now my aim is not that bad *accidentally shoots an arrow over Shara's head* ok it's that bad  
  
Shara: *snatches bow back*  
  
Rasa: sorry. Maybe I could have a sword  
  
Marche: can you USE it?  
  
Rasa: of course I got tons of cools moves.  
  
Sheri: Which saved a clan from doom in the jagds.  
  
Rasa: yup it's true  
  
Everyone but Rasa/Sheri/Ruko: -_-  
  
Rasa: ok it was a reflex  
  
Marche: much more believable.  
  
Rasa: right.  
  
Ruko: when you saved them I thought I had entered another dimension  
  
Rasa:*looking at pub notices* oh someone's trapped in the Roda volcano. Me and my friends will go!  
  
Ruko: my friends and I, Rasa  
  
Rasa: what are you my English teacher?!  
  
Marche: just don't mess this up  
  
Rasa: AYE AYE SIR!  
  
Everyone but Rasa: -_-  
  
Rasa: C'mon guys we've got someone to save*leaves with Ruko and Sheri*  
  
Marche: *kneels down on floor* WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS PUNISHMENT FROM HELL?! WHAT DID I DO?!  
  
Montblanc: we're all gonna die, kupo  
  
To be continued.  
  
Well did you like it, hate it, just don't give about it, can't decide or other ^_^ 


	2. Rasa VS Shara round 1

Author's note: WOO HOO my story's already getting good reviews!! ^_^ now the legal stuff: I don't own FFTA or the characters in any way.  
  
*at the Roda volcano*  
  
Rasa: I know I was supposed to do something but what was it?  
  
Ruko: you forgot already!? You're an idiot!!  
  
Rasa: oops.  
  
Sheri: we're here to save a miner from a fiery death.  
  
Rasa: ok then how do we get to the cave.  
  
Sheri: oh I dunno maybe the *points to stairs* STAIRS over there  
  
Rasa: oh didn't see them there. *walks up stairs*  
  
Miner guy: *mining rocks like hell to get out*  
  
Ruko: looks like there was a land slide  
  
Rasa: no, duh, Sherlock. Anyway we should get him out *goes up to rock moves one and gets hit in the face with a pickaxe*  
  
Miner guy: Thanks and sorry, dude*runs off*  
  
Rasa: owchities x_x  
  
Sheri: ooh it's so bad you had to make up your own word lets go back  
  
*at the pub*  
  
Marche: It's been 3 days over what it was said to take where is she?!  
  
Ritz: probably goofing off somewhere  
  
Marche: most likely  
  
*Rasa and co. come in*  
  
Rasa: ow it hurts so very bad.  
  
Ruko:*snickers*  
  
Rasa: after I'm healed, Ruko you're going down  
  
Ruko: EEP  
  
Marche: this is probably the only time I'll do this but *signals white mage* heal her  
  
Ruko: NO DON'T!!  
  
White Mage: *heals Rasa*  
  
Ruko: DAMN YOU!!!  
  
Rasa: Great I feel better now  
  
Ruko: oh no  
  
Rasa: *looking at Shara's bow* can I touch it please?  
  
Shara: NO!  
  
Rasa: *pouts* fine. *under her breath* yeah you son of a b-  
  
Shara: I HEARD THAT!!  
  
Rasa: YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!*thinking* CRAP!! I forgot she could hear well. I'm dead now.why'd I even say that?  
  
Shara: *starts beating the crap out of Rasa*  
  
Rasa: OW OWW!!! Well at least I'm getting to touch it!  
  
Shara: *puts bow away*  
  
Rasa: *gets up* hey I'm ok YAY!  
  
Shara: *takes bow out and walks towards Rasa*  
  
Rasa: AHH!!*hides behind table*  
  
Ruko:*snickers*  
  
Rasa: *puts hand up and grabs Ruko's neck*  
  
Ruko: *coughing and hacking*  
  
Rasa: *lets go of Ruko* is it safe now?  
  
Sheri: yes it's safe now  
  
Rasa: ahhhh that's good. Anyway I came to tell you that Sheri has something to tell you  
  
Sheri: HEY!! And I'm telling you that Ruko has something to tell you  
  
Ruko: and I'm telling you that Rasa has something tell you  
  
Everyone but Rasa/Sheri/Ruko:-_-  
  
Marche: you failed the mission right?  
  
Rasa: yeah that pretty much sums it up  
  
*Llednar comes in*  
  
Marche: AH! IT'S THE RETURN OF THE DEAD LLEDNAR! *Gets up and throws plate at Llednar*  
  
Llednar: no WAIT I'm not evil *gets hit in face with plate* Damn  
  
Pubmaster: you're paying for that  
  
Everyone but Marche/Llednar/Pubmaster: O_o  
  
Marche: sorry*sits back down*  
  
Rasa: *looking at Shara's armring* ooh ooh cool bracelet! Can I see? Please? Please!?  
  
Sheri: *walks over to Marche* you sure the white mage healed her BRAIN  
  
Marche: that I don't know  
  
Shara:*turns to Ritz and points to Rasa* she needs serious help  
  
Ritz:*nods* yeah totally  
  
Ruko: A little hyper today aren't we.  
  
Sheri: I think the blow from the pickaxe did something...  
  
Montblanc: and the power plant incident, kupo  
  
Rasa: fine fine, I'll sit down now  
  
Shara: THANK YOU!!!  
  
Ruko: who's the dude with hat, the blonde hair, and weird cloths?  
  
Marche: Dead guy named Llednar that I killed a while ago  
  
Llednar: Well I came back!  
  
Marche: Why?  
  
Llednar: because I felt like it!  
  
Montblanc: whatever, kupo  
  
Rasa: yeah what he said  
  
Montblanc: -_-  
  
Marche: Crap! We have to leave for the battle tourney now!  
  
Rasa: YAY!! Another battle!!  
  
Sheri: OH NO!!! you are NOT leaving without us this time.  
  
Ruko: Yeah!  
  
Rasa: Fine you guys can come  
  
Marche: HEY! I thought that was my decision!  
  
Rasa: my friends aren't they? Let's go!! *Rasa and co. leave pub*  
  
Marche: to what? our ultimate humiliation ceremony  
  
Llednar: I'd better go too. You'll need all the help you can get with her in your clan*leaves pub*  
  
Montblanc: let's go to our defeat  
  
Well how was that? I hope it was good! ^_^ 


	3. second screwed battle

Author's note: update whatever I changed a few things I know it's bad but just read it and disclaimer : I don't own FFTA square enix does  
  
Marche: don't screw this battle like you did last time  
  
Rasa: ok fine I won't do anything thing stupid but I need a weapon  
  
Marche: take the Lurebreaker and don't kill me with it either  
  
Rasa: Can I PLEASE have the purple sword  
  
Marche: fine take the Master sword just don't kill us all  
  
Rasa: ok *picks up Master Sword*  
  
Marche: whatever  
  
Rasa: *smiles*  
  
Ruko/Sheri: HEY WHAT ABOUT US!?  
  
Marche: uh well anything you want  
  
Ruko: hunter I can aim  
  
Rasa:*glares*  
  
Sheri: I'll do the summoning  
  
Rasa: *still glaring*  
  
Llednar: and I'll just watch*starts to walk off*  
  
Marche: OH no you don't invinca-boy *stops Llednar* you're staying  
  
Llednar: oh man I have to WORK?!  
  
Marche: I'd expect to hear THAT from Rasa  
  
Rasa: *waving*  
  
Marche: *grim look on face* you're not normal  
  
Rasa: and I'm PROUD to be weird!  
  
Marche: there is something very wrong with you  
  
Judge: are you ready yet?  
  
Marche: oh sorry yeah *looks toward Rasa* finally  
  
Judge: BATTLE START!!!  
  
Rasa: OK I'm bored already. I'm calling the shots now so who wants to verse me?!  
  
*15 min silence*  
  
Llednar: *scratches head*  
  
Rasa: OK YOU GET TO VERSE ME!!!  
  
Llednar: WTF?!  
  
Rasa: YAY!!*walks over to center of battle arena and starts dancing*  
  
Judge: wait am I supposed to stop this  
  
Marche: *thinking of seam to get him out of there* I'm surrounded by a bunch of god damn idiots! *turns to judge* no wonder you get the easiest law you're such a god damn idiot!  
  
*a seam opens*  
  
Llednar: *walks over to Marche and slaps him* you bitch!  
  
Marche: ow what was that for?  
  
Llednar: for existing right now you called the seam  
  
Marche: I DIDN'T CALL IT and you slap like a little girl!  
  
Llednar: what was that?! I'm sorry I didn't quite HEAR you!  
  
Marche: well then I'll say it louder; *louder* you slap like a little girl!!  
  
Llednar: THAT'S IT!!!*starts a fight with Marche*  
  
Ruko: *interrupting the fight* do I have to discipline you two?!  
  
Marche/Llednar: *shake heads*  
  
Ruko: good  
  
*in the pub*  
  
Ritz: I think Marche's in trouble  
  
Montblanc: why do you think that, kupo?  
  
Ritz: the fact that Sheri is standing next to you with her head on the table muttering 'they're all a bunch of screwed idiots'  
  
Sheri: it was screwed from the beginning  
  
Ritz: huh?  
  
Sheri: Rasa decided she wanted to have a one-on-one battle, and the dumbass judge didn't even know what that meant and then a portal opened and I left  
  
Montblanc: the one thing Marche can do without thinking is call a seam, kupo  
  
Ritz: Well let's go save them then*walks out of pub with Shara and Montblanc*  
  
Sheri: *sighs* this is another example of one of Rasa's crappy ideas gone horribly wrong *walks out of the pub*  
  
*in a mysterious ruin*  
  
Rasa: where the HELL are we?!  
  
Marche: how the hell would I know?  
  
Llednar: well you called it  
  
Marche: DID NOT!  
  
Llednar: DID TOO!  
  
Marche: DID NOT!  
  
Llednar: DID TOO!  
  
Ruko: WHAT THE HELL'D I TELL YOU TWO?!  
  
Marche/Llednar: to stop fighting  
  
Ruko: THANK YOU  
  
Rasa: now we should find a way out of here  
  
Everyone else: NO CRAP STUPID!!  
  
Rasa: gee you don't have to be so mean...  
  
*at berverina palace*  
  
Judge: um they disappeared  
  
Ritz: you've been telling me that for two hours!  
  
Judge: well that's all I know  
  
Ritz: you're a pinhead  
  
Judge: huh?  
  
Montblanc: I don't think we got anywhere  
  
Sheri: they're really screwed now  
  
Shara: any ideas on how to get the portal open  
  
Sheri: OPEN SESAME!!!!!!  
  
*everyone stares at Sheri*  
  
Sheri: ok I'm all out of ideas  
  
Shara: big help  
  
*back in the ruins Rasa and co come to a gap*  
  
Llednar: so how do we get across this?  
  
Rasa: don't worry I've got my grapple hook*throw grapple over to other side and swings over but hits the wall* ow *falls down the jagged cliff hitting the sides of the cliff* ow AH its hurts I think I just broke my spine here  
  
Marche: doesn't even shut up when dieing  
  
Llednar: *in a stupid voice* that's very observant, Mr. Obvious  
  
Marche: shut up  
  
Rasa:*hits bottom of cliff* ow  
  
Ruko: Hey that's ok we found a bridge!  
  
Rasa: that's nice and all but GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND HELP ME  
  
Ruko: ok just walk up the stairs!  
  
Rasa: I hate you  
  
*at Berverina palace*  
  
*Babus comes in*  
  
Sheri: so we haven't got any ideas at all  
  
Shara: well duh if we had an idea we would have used it  
  
Babus: what is going on here?  
  
Sheri: we have NO idea  
  
Montblanc: long story, kupo  
  
Babus: just tell me  
  
Montblanc: ok Sheri, kupo, can tell you  
  
Sheri: wait a sec you're that whiny prince's personal bitch er I mean mage right  
  
Babus: yes that's me Babus Swain  
  
Sheri: good for you! Anyway how about you help us get our friends back from uh somewhere  
  
Babus: well I heard a seam had opened here so I.  
  
Sheri: whatever lets just go  
  
Ritz: where?  
  
Sheri: I don't know  
  
Ok was that a little better than the last one I hope so I took me forever to think of and REVIEW PLEASE IT'S NOT THAT HARD ^_^ 


	4. weird things

Author note: uh huh *kneels on ground* for the love of god please R&R! Please!  
  
Anyway, disclaimer crap: I don't own FFTA or any characters  
  
Rasa: y'know we still don't know where we are  
  
Ruko: and right now we don't care we just want to get out of here  
  
Rasa: fine *looks up* ooh who's the scary looking person flying with a cape  
  
Evil dude: *turns around and grabs Rasa*  
  
Ruko: Sh*t  
  
Marche: what are you whining about?  
  
Ruko: uh we're next dumbass!  
  
Rasa:*being held up in the air by the evil dude* you son of bitch! Let me go dammit!  
  
Evil dude: *throws Rasa against the wall*  
  
Rasa: ow that's it...*takes out her sword*  
  
Evil dude:*starts walking toward Marche*  
  
Marche: crap you were right  
  
Llednar: no sh*t  
  
Rasa: *jumps up and slashes at evil dude* heh heh heh!  
  
Evil dude: *teleports before she hits*  
  
Rasa: crap where'd he go?!  
  
Evil dude: you and I will meet again  
  
Rasa: whatever! Just don't tr-  
  
Evil dude:*trips on a rock* crap  
  
Everyone else:*snickering*  
  
Evil dude: damn you all*disappears and leaves pants behind*  
  
Everyone else:-_-  
  
*at the palace*  
  
Sheri: *sitting in a beach chair* we're not going to get anywhere by just lounging here!  
  
Ritz: that's saying a lot considering YOU'RE the one with the beach chair  
  
Sheri: so! I want to lounge in style!  
  
Ritz: whatever  
  
Shara: so what now  
  
Montblanc: I dunno.  
  
*seam opens*  
  
Rasa: yes! Yes! I told you it would work!!  
  
Marche: what the hell?!  
  
Rasa: the opening dance always works!!  
  
Ruko: don't doubt the power of the opening dance  
  
Marche:*grim look on face*  
  
Rasa: ^_^  
  
Llednar: Hey Babu- Aughhh!  
  
Babus: *hits Llednar with mace several times* this is what you get for knocking me out back at Ambervale  
  
Llednar: x_x  
  
Rasa: ok Babus I think he's dead now  
  
Sheri: not dead just very badly hurt  
  
Llednar: ow that mace really hurts y'know  
  
Rasa: anyway some evil guy came after us  
  
Everyone but Llednar/Marche/Ruko/Rasa: AND!?  
  
Rasa: the only clue we got was his pants  
  
Sheri: that's just not right.  
  
Rasa: no kidding *searches pants pocket* hey he left his wallet in here!  
  
Ruko: aw man he's broke  
  
Shara: you guys are shameless aren't you?  
  
Rasa: yup  
  
Sheri: he's some broke loser named Haven  
  
Marche: well first we should *starts talking about how they will find Haven*  
  
Llednar:*making 'blah blah blah' motions with his hand*  
  
Marche:*slaps him*  
  
Rasa:*on the phone* just one pizza  
  
Guy on the phone: *in a lazy way* we'll get back to you please don't call us we'll call you.  
  
Rasa:*hangs up* well we'll never hear from that guy again  
  
Shara: oh my god. are we the only one serious about this here  
  
Rasa: looks like it  
  
Ritz: let's just find Haven so we get back to our regular clan lives  
  
Marche: nothing's ever gonna be the same for me  
  
Read and review please! ^_^ 


End file.
